


Tangled Up in Mysteries Libretto

by AnnabethTheUnicorn



Category: Gravity Falls, ParaNorman (2012)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Parapines, Poor Norman, Script Format, Slow Build, libretto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:45:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4455338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnabethTheUnicorn/pseuds/AnnabethTheUnicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Norman Babcock has been spending every summer for the last three years with his best friends Dipper and Mabel Pines, in Gravity Falls, Oregon. This year, though? This year is going to be different. For one thing, Dipper swears that this year is the year they're finally going to solve the mysteries of Gravity Falls. For another thing, Norman has been having these recurring nightmares lately, about a very creepy triangle man. Oh, and then there's the matter of Norman's pesky crush on Dipper."</p><p>(A Libretto is the text (script) for an extended musical work such as a musical. This is my personal vision of what our story would look like on stage.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tangled Up in Mysteries Libretto

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ksiezniczka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksiezniczka/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Tangled Up in Mysteries](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2543165) by [Ksiezniczka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksiezniczka/pseuds/Ksiezniczka). 



> Don't be concerned that the songs are out of order. I had to do some reordering for the stage. (:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tangled Up in Mysteries

 

 

Story by Ksiezniczka

Book, Music, and Lyrics by Sarah Kaufman (AnnabethTheUnicorn)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Principle Characters:

 

 **Norman Babcock** \- 15. A Medium. He’s been having nightmares, and he’s 

in love with his best friend. Oops.

 **Pacifica Northwest** \- 17. The only daughter of the rich and powerful 

Northwest’s. She doesn’t want to become her parents.

 **Mabel Pines** \- 16. She just wants everyone to be happy.

 **Dipper Pines** \- 16. He needs to figure this out.

 **Bill Cipher** \- Ageless. An Eldritch Abomination intent on absorbing as 

much power as possible. 

 

 

Other Characters: (Multiple roles can be played by the 

same actor. For example, Emily could also play the Flight Attendant. Pacifica’s Father could play the Voice. [Though the Voice should be modified to sound less human if possible.])

 **The Voice** \- The true voice of Bill Cipher. Heard only by Norman.

 **Flight Attendant** \- Any Age. Male or Female.

 **Tiffany** \- A teenager, one of Pacifica’s “friends.”

 **Pacifica’s Mother** \- Middle-aged, fake-looking woman with a gentle but 

critical tone.

 **Pacifica’s Father** \- Withholding, easily-angered man of great import in 

high society.

 **Pastor** \- The leader of an old suicide cult. Dead.

 **Staci** \- A teenager, another of Pacifica’s “friends.”

 **Emily** \- A flapper girl. Daughter of the Pastor. A Murder victim.

 **Stanford Pines** \- (Actually Stanley Pines.) The twin’s guardian for the 

summer. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 1. NORMAN is on a plane. It’s a red eye; most of the people around him are asleep. He appears to be sleeping, too. But he isn’t sleeping soundly. We catch a glimpse into Norman’s Nightmare Forest and a strange voice is heard.]

VOICE

_Run as fast as you want, kid. The Darkness is coming. You can’t stop it. I’m… Watching… You…_

[He jumps awake with a small gasp, confused, momentarily 

forgetting where he is. A FLIGHT ATTENDANT is passing by.]

 

FLIGHT ATTENDANT

You okay, hun? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.

 

NORMAN

I’m alright. Do you know where we are? 

 

FLIGHT ATTENDANT

We’re just over Utah, Sweetheart. Can I get you anything?

[NORMAN shakes his head. The FLIGHT ATTENDANT leaves.]

 

NORMAN

[THE MONSTERS COME AT NIGHT, THEY SNEAK INTO MY BRAIN,](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/1-insomnia-and-other-stories?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

AND SHOW ME THINGS THAT I DON’T WANNA SEE,

THE MONSTERS COME AT NIGHT, THEY’RE CALLING OUT MY NAME,

THEY SHOW ME AS WHAT I DON’T WANNA BE,

AND I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT FROM ME,

[NORMAN pulls a paranormal magazine (Preferably one with a great pun on the front) out of his carry-on bag. Mostly because it’s mildly less boring than staring out the window. Across the stage, lights up on PACIFICA (hereafter PAZ), who is in her house putting her hair up. Her MOTHER enters and makes a face.]

 

PAZ

What?

 

MOTHER

Your hair.

 

PAZ

What’s wrong with it?

 

 

 

MOTHER

Pacifica, that ponytail is just so… low-class. It’s bad enough your hair is so brittle. I hope you’re not planning to go out with it like that.

[MOTHER exits and PAZ tightens her ponytail rebelliously.]

 

PAZ

THEY DON’T KNOW WHO I AM, THEY ONLY KNOW MY NAME,

CUZ’ I WAS BORN TO PLAY THEIR ENDLESS SOCIAL GAME,

[She picks up a photo strip of her together with MABEL.]

BUT THEIR PERFECT DAUGHTER’S LEARNED WHAT LOVE IS WHEN IT’S FREE,

BUT STILL I FEAR THAT THEY’RE WHAT I’M FATED TO BE,

 

PAZ & NORMAN

AND I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

 

PAZ

I HOPE THAT’S NOT WHO I AM GONNA BE,

[PAZ continues to primp in front of the mirror, adjusting her hair and touching up her makeup. There is a ding on the plane and NORMAN puts his bag over his shoulder, exiting the plane. Lights up on MABEL and DIPPER, center stage, waiting in the Mystery Shack, DIPPER is staring out the window.] 

 

MABEL

(Teasingly.) Dipper, would you quit staring out the window like a creep? He said he’d be here soon!

 

DIPPER

I’m not being a creep! I’m just-

 

MABEL

Eager to see your boooyfrieeend?

 

DIPPER

(Disgruntled.) -Impatient. We only have two summers left to solve the mysteries of Gravity Falls once and for all. 

[DIPPER buries his face in the Journal. MABEL shakes her head and picks up her phone to text PAZ.]

 

MABEL

Norman is coming to visit for the summer again! 

[PAZ gets the text.]

YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR HIM THROUGH EVERY TRIAL,

BUT MY BROTHER’S IN SOME SHOULDER-DEEP DENIAL,

 

PAZ

Who?

 

MABEL

AND WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY,

ON DAYS LIKE THESE SHE SEEMS SO FAR AWAY,

[NORMAN waits outside the airport.]

 

MABEL, PAZ, & NORMAN

AND I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON’T KNOW IF I’M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

 

MABEL

BUT SOMEDAY SHE’LL OPEN UP TO ME,

You know, Norman? Spikey hair? He’s been coming to Oregon for like 4 summers now. 

 

PAZ

You mean your brother's weird friend? Good for him, I guess.

 

MABEL

Hey, see you tomorrow, right?

 

PAZ

(Smiling.) Yeah.

 

DIPPER

This is the year. I can feel it. This is the year we're gonna crack it.

WE JUST NEED TO GET A LITTLE CLOSER,

A FEW MORE LUCKY BREAKS AND THEN ITS OVER,

DON'T THINK ABOUT HIS EYES, JUST UNCOVER THE LIES,

[NORMAN arrives at the door.]

 

DIPPER, MABEL, PAZ, & NORMAN

AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M SLEEPING TONIGHT,

 

DIPPER

BUT I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS,

 

MABEL

He’s here!

[The twins rush to meet him, racing to see who gets to open the door first. They end up in a heap on the floor and NORMAN opens the door himself. MABEL hugs him.]

 

DIPPER

WE JUST NEED TO GET A LITTLE

CLOSER

A FEW MORE LUCKY BREAKS AND THEN ITS OVER

WE JUST NEED TO GET A LITTLE CLOSER

A FEW MORE LUCKY BREAKS AND THEN IT’S OVER

DON’T LOOK INTO HIS EYES

JUST UNCOVER

NORMAN

DON’T LOOK INTO HIS EYES

JUST UNCOVER

DIPPER

DON’T LOOK INTO HIS EYES

OR HE’LL UNCOVER YOUR LIES.

| 

 

NORMAN

THEY SNEAK INTO MY BRAIN

PAZ

THEY ONLY KNOW MY NAME

MABEL

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

 

 

PAZ

DON’T LOOK INTO HIS EYES

JUST UNCOVER

MABEL

DON’T LOOK INTO HIS EYES

JUST UNCOVER  
  
---|---  
  
[MABEL and DIPPER take NORMAN up to the attic of the Mystery Shack to catch up. Lights down on PAZ]

 

DIPPER

We have so much to tell you! I have week one all mapped out. First of all, I think we should check out the Bunker again. 

 

MABEL

We’ve already checked it out like five times! Besides, I have a date.

 

DIPPER

Really? Summer just started!

 

MABEL

Exactly! We’ve had to survive on skype dates all year, so I would like to finally go on a real date! You’re just gonna have to accept that, Dippin’ Dots.

 

DIPPER

Then I guess we’ll go without you.

 

MABEL

Pfft. Like you could last five minutes without me.

 

DIPPER

Fine. But Only because we can use your grappling hook. 

 

 

NORMAN

But Dipper, you’ve been down there how many times now? I don’t know what you’re hoping to find.

 

DIPPER

I just have a good feeling about this. (Jokingly.) It’s happening. You can’t stop it. 

[NORMAN remembers.]

 

VOICE

_You can’t stop it._

 

DIPPER

Norman? You okay, dude?

 

MABEL

Dipper isn’t that bad, is he, Norm?

 

NORMAN

(Tries to smile.) I’m just tired.

 

DIPPER

Oh, of course! [He starts to move papers, books, and bags off of his bed.] Here, you can lay down in my bed.

 

NORMAN

Dip, you don’t have to-

 

DIPPER

No, no, I insist!

 

MABEL

[Snorts.] Not this again.

 

DIPPER

And what is _that_ supposed to mean?

 

MABEL

You two do this every year - one of you tries to give the other the bed and then the other one does the same thing, and then you both end up on either the floor or the bed together. 

[DIPPER and NORMAN share a look.]

 

NORMAN

Are we that predictable?

 

MABEL

No, I’m just that _good_. [DIPPER scoffs.] I am! Really! Beautiful, smart, talented-

 

NORMAN

And humble to boot.

[MABEL and NORMAN continue to snark at each other and for a moment DIPPER gets lost in NORMAN’s smile. He sings, almost absentmindedly. Unheard by the others.]

 

DIPPER

[I MADE UP THIS WHOLE PLAN, TO LEAVE MY MARK,](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/2-i-never-planned-on-you?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

BUT YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE AND, SET OFF A SPARK,

NOW WHEN YOU’RE BY MY SIDE, SOMETHING JUST FEELS RIGHT,

YOU SEEM TO SEE THE WORLD, IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT,

BUT I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU, NO I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU,

I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SO SIMPLE BUT, 

THEN I SAW YOUR SMILE DIMPLE AND,

I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU,

I MADE A LIST OF THINGS, FOR YOU AND I TO DO,

I WAS COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS, WONDERING IF YOU GREW,

CUZ I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU, I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU, 

I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD CARE SO MUCH UNTIL,

OUR HANDS ACCIDENTALLY BRUSHED AND

I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU,

SO TAKE MY HAND,

AND LET ME TAKE YOUR HEART,

TAKE MY HAND, 

AND WE CAN START TO START,

TAKE MY HAND,

AND LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH,

TAKE MY HAND,

AND HELP ME TO SEE THINGS LIKE YOU DO,

THE WAY YOU DO,

I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU, I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU,

I NEVER PLANNED ON YOU, I NEVER PLANNED ON-

 

NORMAN

Dipper?

 

DIPPER

Hm?

 

NORMAN

You’re kind of, um. Staring at me? Is there something on my face?

 

 

 

 

DIPPER

N-no! Sorry, I zoned out. I was just thinking. Mabel’s right, as much as I hate to admit it. We should probably just both take the bed.We can sleep head-to-foot if you want?

 

NORMAN

No way, dude. Your feet smell terrible. 

 

DIPPER

Well, my morning breath isn’t much better!

[They laugh, happy to be together again. MABEL smiles knowingly.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 2. The next day. The living room of Northwest Manor, PAZ’s Mother sits at the regal table and her FATHER is not visible from behind a newspaper. A bell sit ominously on the table in front of him. PAZ is in head-to-toe designer clothing and her hair is up. Before entering the room, she gets a text from TIFFANY.]

 

TIFFANY

Hey girl! Let’s hang out.

[PAZ finishes with her hair and reads the text.]

 

PAZ

You know I can’t today. I have plans.

 

TIFFANY

With that weird girl? Come on, Pacifica. Ditch the dweeb and come shopping!

[PAZ huffs and ignores the text. She makes for the door, but her MOTHER looks up.]

MOTHER

Pacifica. [PAZ looks wordlessly.] Hair. [PAZ scoffs at her.]

 

FATHER

Pacifica.

[PAZ pauses. She pulls her hair out of its ponytail, her mother nods approvingly. PAZ leaves the house. She closes the door before taking her sweater off and tying it around her waist.]

 

PAZ

[GO AHEAD. TELL ME WHAT TO DO.](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/8-pacificas-lament?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

TELL ME THAT I’M WORTHLESS, USELESS,

TELL ME I’M THE SAME AS YOU,

PUT ME ON A PEDESTAL, AND SEE HOW BRIGHT I SHINE,

[She looks at her hairband.]

BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU TELL ME TO JUMP,

[She puts her hair back in a ponytail.]

DOESN’T MEAN I’LL SAY “HOW HIGH?”

I DIDN’T CHOOSE MY FAMILY, I DIDN’T CHOOSE MY FAMILY,

I DIDN’T CHOOSE MY FAMILY, AND THEY SURE AS HELL DIDN’T CHOOSE ME.

[PAZ exits. Set change. The downstairs of the Mystery Shack. DIPPER, NORMAN, and MABEL are at the kitchen table. DIPPER is smiling, showing the other two a postcard.]

 

MABEL

(Laughing.) Are you serious?

 

DIPPER

Yes, I’m serious! Norman, you believe me, right?

 

NORMAN

It’s a pretty interesting coincidence. But I don’t think weirdly-shaped cliffs qualify as hard evidence of… Alien activity.

 

MABEL

You know what I think?

 

DIPPER

Didn’t ask what you thought, Mabel.

 

MABEL

I think that Agent Mulder over here has been watching too many reruns of _The X-Files_.

 

DIPPER

Very funny, Mabel. But I haven’t even shown you the best part yet! [He pulls out the Journal and opens it, he shines a blacklight on one of the pages.] Look at these symbols. 

 

NORMAN

Is is a substitution code or something? Have you tried translating it?

 

DIPPER

I’ve tried! It doesn’t work in English, Spanish, or Latin. The closest I came to a translation was “raa gah io es vin nonca…” You get the idea. Gibberish. It doesn’t translate to any language as far as I can tell.

[PAZ enters.]

 

NORMAN

And you think this means it must be Alien.

 

DIPPER

In the broadest sense of the word. Alien doesn’t have to mean from outer space. It could also just mean not of this realm.

 

PAZ

Ugh, could you _be_ any weirder?

 

MABEL

Pacifica! 

 

 

DIPPER

(Muttering to NORMAN.) Could you be any nastier?

 

MABEL

Play nice, you two.

 

PAZ

Ready to go, _babe_?

[PAZ and MABEL start to go.]

H-hey, do you like my hair like this?

 

MABEL

Are you kidding? I _love_ your hair like that!

 

DIPPER

Can you believe that?

 

NORMAN

Your protective is showing, Dip.

[PAZ and MABEL appear across the stage, sitting on the floor of PAZ’s room. MABEL starts painting PAZ’s toenails.]

 

MABEL

Whatcha thinking?

 

PAZ

Nothing.

 

MABEL

Seriously, what’s got you all frowny? Sad feelings are super lame.

 

DIPPER

Do you have any idea how many times Pacifica made Mabel cry? And now they’re apparently in _love_ or something?

 

PAZ

I was just thinking what my parents would do if I took that nail polish and chucked it all over the carpet.

 

NORMAN

They’re dating. It doesn’t mean they’re gonna run off and get married. Besides, if Mabel says she’s cool with her, I have no problem with Pacifica. 

 

MABEL

Paz… Your parents. You know they love you, right? Deep down, they must.

 

PAZ

Can we not do this right now?

 

MABEL

Paz-

 

DIPPER

Well, now you’re making me look like an asshole.

 

PAZ

I see your brother’s as creepy and weird as ever.

 

MABEL

Go easy on him, Paz. Dipper’s cool. 

 

NORMAN

You are an asshole. But it’s alright, I like you anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 3. A wooded spot on a hill. MABEL enters first, followed closely by DIPPER and NORMAN. DIPPER is carrying a basket and a blanket.]

 

MABEL

Perfect!

 

DIPPER

It’s not half bad as far as picnic spots go. 

 

NORMAN

How did you even find this place, Mabel? Did you come here with your girlfriend?

 

DIPPER

(As the three of them set up the picnic.) Please. Pacifica Northwest does not hike. She might break a heel or get dirt under her French manicure. 

 

MABEL

She’s not that bad, Dipper.

 

DIPPER

Coulda fooled me.

[DIPPER observes their surroundings and MABEL and NORMAN sit on the blanket.]

 

MABEL

He’s a stubborn one. You’ve got your work cut out for you, Normy. [NORMAN blushes, MABEL sighs and tried to braid bits of NORMAN’s hair.] Last year it was demons, this year it’s aliens. What do you think it’ll be next year? Fae?

 

NORMAN

My bet’s on Cthulhu. Do you really think this is gonna be the year we solve it?

 

MABEL

We’re the Mystery Trio! If anybody can, it’s us. 

[NORMAN suddenly sees something above MABEL. He jumps.]

 

NORMAN

Hello.

[Lighting change, now we see what NORMAN sees, a PASTOR with a gunshot wound on the side of his head, self-inflicted.]

 

 

PASTOR

You can see me, boy!

 

NORMAN

Uh, yeah. That’s kinda what I do. Talk to ghosts and such. [The twins realize what’s happening and step back.] Can I help you somehow?

 

PASTOR

I am beyond help! I’m a sinner, we all are! And for what? Why am I damned for trying to help this town?!

 

NORMAN

I’m sure the Gravity Falls is grateful for all you’ve done, sir. And that God forgives you-

 

PASTOR

You’re trying to get rid of me, boy?! I didn’t put a hole in my head for nothing, you know.I wanted to stay here!The power of prayer is the only thing that can battle the _darkness_ in this town, and God almighty knows no one else is doing a damn thing about it!Have you seen any churches in Gravity Falls?

 

NORMAN

So… you killed yourself to protect this town?

 

PASTOR

My whole congregation, actually. 

 

NORMAN

Did… it work?

 

PASTOR

NO!

 

NORMAN

Is there anything I can do to help you, sir?

 

PASTOR

Yes. Quit playing with fire before the darkness destroys this whole town!

 

NORMAN

Darkness… 

 

PASTOR

God be with you. [He reaches out to bless NORMAN and pulls back, scared.] YOU- 

[Lighting change. The PASTOR disappears and NORMAN falls back. DIPPER and MABEL rush over to hold him up.]

 

DIPPER

What the hell did that spirit say to you?!

 

MABEL

Are you okay?

 

NORMAN

I’m fine.

 

DIPPER

Bullshit!

 

MABEL

Dipper, shut up!

 

NORMAN

You guys, have you ever noticed there are no religious buildings in Gravity Falls?No churches.No temples.No mosques. [The twins look at him, confused.] It was a priest. Apparently he had his entire congregation kill themselves so they could stay here instead of passing on. He thought it would protect the town from… something.

 

MABEL

That’s…

 

DIPPER

…Fucked up. Norman, that guy was crazy. Don’t listen to him. 

 

NORMAN

I-I’m not, I just… He told me we should stop “playing with fire” and said something about a “great darkness.” It’s… That wasn’t the first time I’ve gotten that warning. 

 

DIPPER

Who else said that to you?

 

VOICE

_A darkness approaches! A time will come in the future when everything you care about will change! Until then, I’ll be watching you!_

 

NORMAN

…No one. Just. Chill, forget it. 

 

 

DIPPER

Norman… You know you can tell me- [Mabel elbows him.] _Us._ Anything, right? And we won’t judge you?

 

NORMAN

No, I know you won’t. It was just another spirit or something. It doesn’t matter… Could we- I mean, if it’s alright could we go back to the shack?

 

DIPPER

Oh, uh, s-sure! 

[He takes Norman’s hand and leads him away, Mabel throws everything into the basket and follows.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 4. STACI is on one side of the stage, PAZ is on the other, reading the mass text message sent out to all of the Gravity Falls elite.]

 

STACI

Just a quick reminder that my big party is coming up in less than a week! Do _not_ forget to RSVP and wear something designer or the bouncer won’t let you in the door. Oh! And I’ve decided to wear the azure dress with midnight blue accents, so if you plan to show up to the pre-party, party, or post-party, in any shade of blue, be it sky blue, powder blue, navy blue, royal blue, steel blue, Prussian blue, cobalt, peacock, sapphire, cyan, aquamarine, ultramarine, teal - _yes, teal, Amanda_ \- or electric blue... I will personally make sure they never. Find. Your. Body. Special thanks to my girls Tiffany and Pacifica for offering to help me plan. Ta ta!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 5. That night, in the attic of the Shack. MABEL is sleeping deeply in her bed. DIPPER and NORMAN are side-by-side in the other. Norman is pretending to sleep.]

 

DIPPER

Norman. I know you’re awake.

 

NORMAN

[A beat.] …Dipper, go to sleep. I’ll be fine. 

 

DIPPER

Sorry, Dude. If you’re not sleeping, I’m not sleeping. That’s that.

 

NORMAN

Dipper, we have a big day tomorrow!

 

DIPPER

Guess you’re just gonna suck it up and try to sleep then, huh?

 

NORMAN

Oh my god, you are such an asshole.

[NORMAN pokes DIPPER in the side playfully. DIPPER laughs.]

 

DIPPER

You’re gonna wake Mabel!

 

NORMAN

[To himself, DIPPER doesn’t hear.]

[HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT I WALK ALONE?](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/tell-you-now-1?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE A CLONE?

I DO.

AND HE SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH, CUZ I THOUGHT HE WAS YOU.

HAVE YOU NOTICED I’M A FREAKSHOW? HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT I’M WEAK?

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT YOU TREAT ME, LIKE SOMEBODY UNIQUE?

I DO.

 

DIPPER

You wanna talk about what’s keeping you awake?

 

NORMAN

I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU.

N-not really. Dipper, don’t worry about me. I mean it. 

 

 

 

DIPPER

Too late for that, dude. I’ve been worrying about you since the day we met. 

 

NORMAN

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT WHEN OUR EYES MEET, 

I START TO TRIP OVER MY FEET?

IT’S TRUE.

 

DIPPER

N-not that you should feel guilty or anything. I just- That’s what I _do_. 

 

NORMAN

I THOUGHT IT WAS MY CLUMSY WAYS,

BUT AS I DISCOVERED TODAY,

IT’S YOU.

 

DIPPER

Worry, that is. 

 

NORMAN

I know. 

NOW I’VE BEEN THINKING HARD,

AND I WANNA TELL YOU NOW,

MY EYES ARE OPEN WIDE,

BUT I’M FROZEN

I’M FROZEN. 

 

DIPPER

Hey. Would it make you feel better to go downstairs and watch a movie? I think there’s some leftover pizza in the fridge and channel three sometimes does late night creature features.

 

NORMAN

Won’t that wake your Grunkle Stan?

 

DIPPER

Nah, he doesn’t sleep with his hearing aid. It’ll be fine.

 

NORMAN

IT FEELS LIKE NOTHING IS TABOO,

NOTHING’S OUT OF BOUNDS FOR YOU AND I,

Would you even be able to make it through a whole movie?

 

DIPPER

Just _come on_!

[DIPPER drags NORMAN out of bed and downstairs to the couch.]

 

NORMAN

UP LATE WATCHING ZOMBIE FLICKS,

ALL THE WHILE THE TIME JUST TICKS ON BY,

I ALWAYS FACED THE WORLD ALONE,

BUT NOW I CAN PICK UP A PHONE AND CALL,

 

DIPPER

Oh, this is the worst movie ever.

 

DIPPER/NORMAN

Perfect./It’s beautiful.

[They laugh.]

 

NORMAN

AND WHEN WE’RE WALKING SIDE BY SIDE,

I ALWAYS MATCH YOUR EVERY STRIDE ENTHRALLED,

BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING HARD,

AND I WANNA SHOW YOU NOW,

I’D GIVE YOU MY HEART,

BUT YOU STOLE IT,

YOU STOLE IT,

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT I WALK ALONE?

HAVE YOU NOTICED I’M A FREAKSHOW?

HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT I LOVE YOU?

I DO.

SOMETIMES I FEEL OUT OF PLACE, I

FORCE A GRIN CONTORT MY FACE TO PLEASE,

BUT THEN YOU COME TO BE WITH ME,

YOU TAKE MY HAND AND SUDDENLY,

I FREEZE.

[NORMAN starts working up the nerve to tell DIPPER.]

AND I’VE BEEN THINKING HARD,

SO I’M GONNA TELL YOU NOW,

I’VE BEEN WISHING HARD,

FOR THIS MOMENT,

FOR THIS MOMENT,

[DIPPER rests his head on NORMAN’s shoulder.]

YEAH, I’VE BEEN THINKING HARD,

AND I’M GONNA TELL YOU NOW,

I’VE BEEN WISHING HARD,

FOR THIS MOMENT,

FOR THIS MOMENT,

THIS MOMENT,

THIS-

[He looks at DIPPER, who is now asleep on his shoulder and chuckles.]

Told you you wouldn’t last a whole movie. 

[NORMAN drifts off to a dreamless sleep. Lighting change, it is now morning, and MABEL enters. Does a double-take. Grabs her camera and takes a picture, waking DIPPER with a click and a flash.]

 

DIPPER

Wh- Wha…? [He accidentally elbows NORMAN in the stomach while sitting up.]

 

NORMAN

Ow, Dipper.

 

MABEL

Oh! Don’t let me disturb you, boys. You just keep doing what you’re doing!

 

DIPPER

M-Mabel!? You delete those right now!

 

MABEL

Mm, nope! You’ll have to catch me first!

[MABEL runs offstage, pursued by DIPPER, both yelling.]

 

NORMAN

I’VE BEEN THINKING HARD…

AND I’M IN LOVE WITH-

 

DIPPER

Gross, Mabel!

 

MABEL

Ha! It’s mine now! I licked it! You can’t touch it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 6. PAZ is sitting on her bed and she gets a text from TIFFANY.]

 

TIFFANY

Where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be here right now helping Staci with her party.

[PAZ ignores the text and instead messages MABEL.]

 

PAZ

Mabel, What are you up to?

 

MABEL

Argueing with Dip Dops over the viability of Big Foot. He insists there’s no such thing. You?

 

TIFFANY

Why aren’t you texting back?

 

PAZ

What I’m up to? Or my opinion of Big Foot?

 

MABEL

Both!

 

PAZ

Ignoring my “friends.” And none.

 

TIFFANY

Are you seriously ignoring me right now?

 

MABEL

Let’s hang out tomorrow. (Smiley face.)

 

PAZ

God, yes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 7. There is roaring offstage. The mystery trio, clearly running from something, enter and DIPPER drags the others behind a boulder and holds his finger to his lips. All three remain quiet until the roaring fades away. They peek over the boulder.]

 

NORMAN

What the hell was that?

 

MABEL

You know what it was, Dipper. Come on. Say it. Saaaayyyy iiiit. Say, ‘Mabel, you were right and I was wrong and Bigfoot totally exists.’ Say it! [To NORMAN.] He owes me five bucks!

 

DIPPER

I never agreed to that bet! 

[NORMAN begins to observe their surroundings.]

And even if I had, you specifically said we had to be searching for it.

[DIPPER and MABEL continue to argue.]

 

NORMAN

Hey, uh… Guys? [He hesitates as both twins focus in on him.] There are no ghosts in this part of the forest. 

 

DIPPER

Didn’t you say Gravity Falls had more ghosts per capita than anywhere else you’ve been?

 

NORMAN

Yeah. And normally it does. But everywhere we’ve been lately… the cliffs, the Bunker, even here… None. I still see them all over the place in town and in the shack.

 

DIPPER

So it’s just around here. Around places that have something to do with-!

 

MABEL

With Dipper’s aliens!

 

DIPPER

Kay, one, that is just one of many theories, not a punchline. Two, it’s very rude to interrupt a guy when he’s right in the middle of an epiphany! 

 

NORMAN

As much as I like watching you have epiphanies, how does that explain-?

 

DIPPER

Wait, you don’t think…

 

NORMAN

Dip, I’m not following. 

 

DIPPER

[Babbling.] Look, I totally get if you don’t want to seek it out, I won’t make you, but you said yourself that it was strange there were no religious buildings in Gravity Falls, and, I mean, I was just thinking that if that was true then how could // there be a pastor?

 

MABEL

Dipper, you’re babbling. It’s kinda cute, huh, Norman?

[NORMAN blushes.]

 

DIPPER

[Ignoring her.] There are no churches around here. But you spoke with a pastor. A pastor who had a congregation, so there must have been a church here at some point. You don’t think… Could it be around here somewhere?

 

NORMAN

I guess that makes some sense… 

 

DIPPER

We don’t have to look for it if you don’t want to. 

 

NORMAN

No. Let’s… Let’s look for it. 

 

DIPPER

[Smiling wide.] Really?!

 

NORMAN

Yes, really. They killed themselves to protect the town from some mysterious ‘darkness’ so maybe finding the church is how we figure out what that darkness is so we can avoid it. But can we do it later? It’s getting kinda late and I think I bruised // my leg…

 

DIPPER

You are the _coolest_. 

 

 

NORMAN

Uh… Am I?

 

MABEL

Oh, just accept it. [She starts to lead the others offstage.] Once Dipper decides on something it’s all over for the rest of us.

 

DIPPER

And what is that supposed to mean? 

[They continue to snark as they exit.] 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 8. NORMAN’s dream. A nightclub with people sitting casually around tables; in the center is a small platform, a stage, with a microphone. Everyone in the club is dressed in attire from the 20s and early 30s. DIPPER is sitting inconspicuously among the crowd. Some people may be smoking. It is almost as if we have travelled in time. A girl, EMILY, in a flapper dress stands on the stage, about to sing.]

 

EMILY

[She clears her throat.]

[STARS SHINING BRIGHT ABOVE YOU,](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/7-dream-a-little-dream?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

NIGHT BREEZES SEEM TO WHISPER “I LOVE YOU,”

[NORMAN enters, looking around, confused.]

BIRDS SINGING IN THE SYCAMORE TREE, DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME…

EMILY [Cont.]

SAY NIGHTY NIGHT 

AND KISS ME,

JUST HOLD ME TIGHT 

AND TELL ME YOU’LL MISS ME,

WHILE I’M ALONE,

AS BLUE AS CAN BE,

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME,

STARS FADING, 

BUT I LINGER ON DEAR,

STILL CRAVING 

YOUR KISS,

I’M LONGING 

TO LINGER TIL DAWN, DEAR,

JUST SAYING THIS…

SWEET DREAMS TIL SUNBEAMS 

FIND YOU,

SWEET DREAMS THAT LEAVE ALL 

WORRIES FAR BEHIND YOU,

BUT IN YOUR DREAMS, 

WHATEVER THEY BE,

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF-

EMILY

[Cont.]

DREAM OF-

DREAM OF- 

DREAM OF-

[She fades out.]

| 

DIPPER

[Seeing and crossing to him.] Norman!

 

NORMAN

Dipper? What are we doing here?

 

DIPPER

What do you think? Hey, dance with me, will you?

 

NORMAN

Uh, I don’t really… Okay?

[He takes NORMAN by the hand and waist and leads him across in a slow dance.]

Are we… Is this a dream?

 

DIPPER

Dunno… [Seductively.] I could pinch you if you want.

 

NORMAN

[Blushes.] Wha- What? 

 

DIPPER

Dude, you’re so red right now.

 

NORMAN

I-I’m-! 

 

[DIPPER spins him around and around as EMILY stutters, laughing, at first the laughter is joyful but then it turns malicious. When NORMAN gets his bearings DIPPER is gone, leaving him alone on stage. The laughter is no longer Dipper’s.] D-Dipper?  
  
---|---  
  
[The VOICE is heard, laughing all around.]

NORMAN

Who’s there?

[BILL enters, laughing, in a 20’s outfit identical to DIPPER’s. NORMAN doesn’t see him until BILL pulls him into a new dance, this one a cruel sort of mockery of the one DIPPER led. NORMAN gasps, too scared or too confused to force himself away.]

 

BILL

STARS SHINING BRIGHT ABOVE YOU, 

NIGHT BREEZES SEEM TO WHISPER “I LOVE YOU,”

BIRDS SINGING IN THE SYCAMORE TREE,

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME, 

[At the end of the dance, BILL dips him low. NORMAN’s eyes close and BILL drops him to the floor. Blackout.]

 

BILL [Cont.]

[Laughs.] Nighty night, Little Ghost.

[Soft lights up on the attic of the shack, NORMAN, lying in bed next to DIPPER, shoots up with a gasp. He runs a hand through his hair and looks at DIPPER, still asleep. He lies back down but doesn’t close his eyes. He won’t be sleeping again that night. Blackout.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 9. The next day. Grunkle Stan arrives back at the Mystery Shack with some newly-developed pictures in his hand. He barely hesitates before opening the packaging and looking through them. Mostly, he sees nothing of too much importance, but upon seeing the fifth photo, he does a double-take. This particular mystery is far too dangerous for a bunch of teenagers. He glances about him before removing that picture from the pile and sticking it in his pocket. He enters the kitchen where MABEL is busy baking cookies. The boys enter from the upstairs and DIPPER sees the pictures in STAN’s hands.]

 

DIPPER

Grunkle Stan! [STAN puts the photos back in the envelope.] Those my photos? Thanks for picking them up.

 

STAN

[Hands them over.] Yeah yeah.

[STAN exits, leaving the three alone in the Shack, DIPPER goes through the photos.]

 

MABEL

[Removing a tray of cookies from the oven.] See any spooky patterns?

 

DIPPER

Mabel… you did take a picture of that wall we found in the bunker, right? The one with the symbols on it in invisible ink? And all the “He’s in the walls, he’s in the walls, he’s in the walls” stuff?

 

MABEL

[Starting to mix up some icing.] Of course I did! I’m not stupid, Dippin’ Dots.

 

NORMAN

[Looking over DIPPER’s shoulder.] It’s not here. That photo is missing. 

 

MABEL

[Crosses to the boys to glance at the pictures, icing bowl in hand.] Maybe it didn’t turn out?

 

 

DIPPER

Maybe… 

 

NORMAN

[Puts a hesitant hand on DIPPER’s shoulder.] The bunker isn’t going anywhere; we can worry about it later. Let’s just do what we can with what we have. There are plenty of photos here with all sorts of signs and symbols to figure out. Yeah?

 

DIPPER

...Yeah. Okay, yeah. Thanks, man. [Notices the bowl in Mabel’s hand.] What’re you making? Smells great.

[MABEL smacks DIPPER’s hand away as he tries to dip his finger into the bowl.]

 

MABEL

Don’t touch that with your gross fingers! These aren’t for you.

 

DIPPER

Are you and Pacifica really going to eat all of them? Does she even eat cookies? I thought everything that passed her lips had to be made out of white caviar and Dom Pérignon.

 

MABEL

Maybe if you gave her a chance you’d find out - You guys aren’t all that different. 

 

DIPPER

[Overdramatic.] You insult me, Mabel! Wound and insult me! 

[NORMAN laughs.]

Et tu, Norman?

 

MABEL

Anyway, I hope you two have fun on your library _date_.

[Both boys blush.]

 

DIPPER

I-It’s not-!

 

MABEL

[Singsong.] If you say // so!

 

DIPPER

It’s not for fun! We’re gathering important information. It’s like studying.

 

MABEL

It’s like _boring_.

 

DIPPER

It’s not boring!

 

NORMAN

It’s a little boring.

 

MABEL

Ha!

 

DIPPER

[Dragging NORMAN out the door.] Come on.

 

NORMAN

Bye, Mabel! Tell Pacifica we say ‘hi!’

 

MABEL

[To herself as she starts to ice her cookies.] Brothers are such idiots. 

[PAZ enters.]

Paz! I made _cookies_! [She brings the tray to the table.]

 

PAZ

Oh my god, you are a lifesaver! My mom is on one of these really weird fad diets right now. There are no sweets in the house that aren’t made with aspartame and it’s really lame.

 

MABEL

Aspar- _lame_?

 

PAZ

[Barely concealing a smile.] Nevermind. [She takes one of the cookies.] Where’s your weirdo brother today? Not that I care. It’s nice to come over without being snipped at. 

 

MABEL

Dipper’s not always a jerk. He’ll warm up to you! Eventually.

 

PAZ

I don’t care, anyway. 

 

MABEL

He and Norman went to the library. They insisted it’s not a date.But I dunno.Seems a bit fishy. [She giggles.] They’ll figure it out eventually.

 

 

 

PAZ

Why do you care so much? Does it really matter who your brother does and or doesn’t date?

 

MABEL

Of course I care! Dip’s my brother, I want him to be happy. That’s just what family _does_.

 

PAZ

[She goes cold.] ...Right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 10. That night. DIPPER and NORMAN sit in the attic, reading a bunch of thick books from the library.]

 

DIPPER

Hey, check it out? [He brandishes a book on Satanism.] Pretty creepy, right?

 

NORMAN

I’m pretty sure Satanism is a load of crap. It’s probably not relevant.

 

DIPPER

Probably not, but there are a couple chapters on suicide cults, so. Anyway, you’re in no place to be skeptical, Mr. talks-to-ghosts. Don’t turn into Agent Scully on me, now.

 

NORMAN

Pfft. I’m not Scully. You’re Scully.

 

DIPPER

No, I’m Mulder. _You’re_ a red headed woman. 

 

NORMAN

Obviously.

 

DIPPER

Yeah, _obviously_. 

[MABEL enters, just back from her date.]

 

MABEL

Anything good in those boring old books? [She crosses to sit in her bed, playing with DIPPER’s hair.]

 

DIPPER

Maybe if you were helping us read them you’d find out.

[MABEL flicks the back of his head.]

 

NORMAN

I can tell you there is nothing good in this one. Unless you find the whole Oregon Trail dying-of-dysentery thing to be absolutely _riveting_.

 

MABEL

It’s like super diarrhea. Heh. 

 

NORMAN

Riveting. [He tosses the book down.]

 

MABEL

Well, I don’t know about you two, but I am beat! Goodnight. [She flops on her bed.]

 

NORMAN

I’m gonna turn in, too. Don’t stay up too late, okay? I know how you get. 

 

DIPPER

[Without looking up.] Yeah, yeah…

 

NORMAN

Seriously, Dipper… I worry about you.

 

DIPPER

I won’t, I wont. [When NORMAN doesn’t look convinced.] Promise. 

[NORMAN rolls over and closes his eyes. DIPPER flips through the book a while longer before rubbing his eyes and shutting it. He glances at MABEL and then looks at NORMAN. He stands and crosses to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. NORMAN’s back is to him. DIPPER reaches out, as if to run his fingers through his friend’s hair, before shaking himself and pulling his hand back. Vamp starts. DIPPER stands and leaves the room, going to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. As he leaves, NORMAN opens his eyes and sits up, looking at the spot where DIPPER just stood. Dipper looks at himself in the mirror and starts to let his thoughts wander to the boy in the next room over, he speaks quietly to himself, unheard by anyone else.]

No… Come on, Dip, think about something else. One number is ten more than another. The sum of twice the smaller plus three times the larger is the feeling of your hand in mine is… the way you look at me is… is… Shit. I mean it’s not like it’s your fault! I’m sure you aren’t _trying_ to be so… compelling. And it certainly isn’t your fault that I sometimes dream about… [He gets lost in his fantasy for a moment.] Holding you close to my chest until all your worries just fade away… [He snaps himself out of it.] Is that weird? That’s weird, isn’t it Norman? I mean I’m not gay. We’re not… a thing? But last summer…  It’s getting harder to pretend I don’t remember… 

 

NORMAN

[Looking at the door.]

[IT’S A REGULAR NIGHT AT THE SHACK, ONE I MIGHT LIKE TO RELIVE](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/5-the-story-so-far?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

 

DIPPER

Do you remember? 

 

 

NORMAN

CUZ’ THERE’S NOTHING I WOULDN’T GIVE

 

DIPPER

I kinda hope you don’t…

 

NORMAN

TO GET THE MOMENT BACK

 

DIPPER

Mabel was out somewhere and Stan gave us shots of whiskey. He thought it was hilarious. 

 

NORMAN

I REMEMBER THE LAUGHTER AND GLEE, WHEN YOU HAD A BIT TO DRINK,

 

DIPPER

Then we went into the other room to play “Corpse Killer,” and I… 

 

NORMAN

AND SOMETHING WAS ON THE BRINK,

 

DIPPER

You looked so…

 

NORMAN

AS YOU LEANED INTO ME,

 

DIPPER

I never brought it up. B-but neither did you, so… 

 

NORMAN

AND DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T REMEMBER?

DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T REMEMBER?

IT’S THE STORY SO FAR THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE ARE,

BUT THAT NIGHT, I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER… 

But you probably don’t even know it happened, let alone think about as much as I- [He sighs.]

 

DIPPER

IT’S A REGULAR NIGHT, ME AND YOU,

WE’RE PLAYING SOME STUPID GAME,

 

NORMAN

It felt almost like you _wanted_ to.. 

 

DIPPER

AND I DON’T KNOW WHO TO BLAME,

 

NORMAN

But that isn’t possible.

 

DIPPER

BUT YOUR EYES WERE SO BLUE,

 

NORMAN

...Is it?

 

DIPPER

[Hopefully.] AND DO YOU THINK THAT I DON’T REMEMBER?

DO YOU THINK THAT I DON’T REMEMBER?

CUZ’ THE STORY WAS SET

THE SECOND OUR LIPS MET,

 

BOTH

OH, HOW COULD I EVER FORGET?

 

NORMAN

HOW YOU KISSED ME, 

AND HOW I KISSED YOU BACK,

HOW IT FELL THROUGH THE CRACKS,

OF YOUR MEMORY,

NORMAN

DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T REMEMBER?

DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T REMEMBER?

DID YOU THINK I’D CONVEY

WHAT YOU DIDN’T SAY?

DID YOU THINK I’D SOMEHOW HEAR YOU?

| 

DIPPER

HOW I KISSED YOU,

AND HOW I PULLED AWAY,

DIDN’T MENTION IT,

DIDN’T SAY,

WHAT I WANTED TO,  
  
---|---  
  
 

| 

   
  
[NORMAN lies back down and closes his eyes, trying to sleep.]

DIPPER

IT’S AN ORIGIN STORY OF A BOY,

WHO’S CLINGING TO HIS _BEST FRIEND_

WHO CAN’T LET THIS EVER END,

NEVER END,

NEVER END… 

[Blackout.]

 

 

 

 

[Scene 11. PAZ’s bedroom. She is getting ready for the day when her MOTHER walks in, looking pristine as ever.]

MOTHER

Pacifica? [She turns.] Brush your hair out, we’re going shopping.

 

PAZ

I can’t today.

 

MOTHER

Pacifica. Your father and I do not _appreciate_ your new attitude. We are going shopping today. [PAZ doesn’t move.] Or do I need to bring out the bell? [She looks up at her mother, suddenly afraid.] That’s what I thought. [Pacifica’s MOTHER start’s towards the door but stop sin the doorway and turns around.] Shopping! [She snaps her fingers in a “hurry up” fashion.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 12. The next day, somewhere deep in the woods. If possible, the trio should enter from the back of the theater and walk up the aisle.]

 

NORMAN

This way. A drowned woman said there should be a path around here, opposite the river. She also said this place is bad news, but… 

 

DIPPER

You know, if this guy wanted converts, he should have made this place easier to find.

[MABEL elbows him. They make their way down the path until an old log building comes into view. The church. They stop. MABEL takes DIPPER’s hand.]

 

MABEL

Yipes. It’s like _Friday The 13th_ or something. 

[MABEL starts forward but NORMAN doesn’t move. DIPPER squeezes her hand and gestures to NORMAN and MABEL takes his hand with her free one. All three walk towards the building.]

 

DIPPER

Moment of truth, I guess. 

[When they reach the entrance, DIPPER gives the door a push and it falls off it’s hinges, hitting the dusty ground with a thud. The interior of the church is covered in skeletons. The twins break away to investigate and NORMAN stays by the door, staring, paler than usual. DIPPER notices a smaller skeleton and MABEL looks horrified.]

Is that-?

 

MABEL

Kids… Children. This is disgusting. Who could ever think this is okay? 

 

 

DIPPER

[Gesturing to another skeleton.] This one was shot in the back of the head… They weren’t all suicides. [Beat. He noticed NORMAN’s silence.] Norman?

 

NORMAN

…Hm?

 

DIPPER

You alright?

 

NORMAN

[Nods. Pauses.] They failed… 

 

MABEL

What?

 

NORMAN

…They killed themselves so they could stay here and protect the town. B-but there’s no one here. Not a single ghost. Nothing but bones. …What happened to them? 

 

DIPPER

I don’t know. But I’m going to find out, okay? I promise.

 

MABEL

Besides, that guy was bonkers! Look, he’s not even in the front-thingy!

 

DIPPER

Pulpit. The word you’re looking for is ‘Pulpit.’

 

NORMAN

Uh… He’s over there. [He points to a corner of the room.]

 

DIPPER

His ghost?!

 

NORMAN

His body.

[DIPPER crosses to the corner and finds a skeleton in the traditional black preacher robes.]

 

DIPPER

I hate this. [He thrusts his hand into the skeleton’s pocket and pulls out a yellowed piece of paper. The others gather around him as he opens it delicately.] …Huh. 

 

MABEL

Is that…?

 

NORMAN

Ithink so.

 

DIPPER

The exact same symbols. [He pulls out the Journal and turns to the right page.] The ones in here. The ones we found in the bunker. The exact same… 

 

MABEL

 Should I… take pictures of any of this? Because I could really go without seeing any of this again. 

 

DIPPER

[Shakes his head, sticking the paper into the Journal for safekeeping.] It’s fine. 

 

NORMAN

M-might want a picture of that, though… [He gestures to one of the skeletons, whose boney hands are still wrapped around a rusty knife. Carved into the wall above it are the words “He’s in the walls. We were so wrong” and an incomplete triangle.] Probably important…

 

MABEL

“He’s in the walls. We were so wrong.” Is that a-

 

DIPPER

[Suddenly feeling very sick, he heads for the door.] Let’s leave. _Please_. 

 

NORMAN

Way ahead of you. 

[DIPPER leads the other two out of the church. Blackout.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 13. That night, the attic. NORMAN and MABEL are both sleeping; DIPPER is sitting, examining the Journal, the paper from the church, and the pictures from the Bunker. He sighs and picks up one of the library books again. Before he becomes engrossed, however, he notices NORMAN tossing, gasping, and trembling in his sleep. Panicked, he drops the book and all but runs across the room to grab his friend’s shoulders.]

 

DIPPER

[In a whisper-shout.] Norman… Norman! Wake up, come on, you’re having a nightmare!

[NORMAN’s eyes shoot open and he looks around, frantic and disoriented.]

 

NORMAN

D-Dipper?

 

DIPPER

You were having a bad dream.

 

NORMAN

…Oh. 

 

DIPPER

Oh? How many times have you- …Do you wanna talk about it?

 

NORMAN

No.

 

DIPPER

…Will you?

 

NORMAN

[Nods. Beat.] I’m sorry.

 

DIPPER

Sorry?! How can you say- How can you even _think_ that, man?

 

NORMAN

I’m sorry you had to find out like this.

 

DIPPER

Don’t worry about it, just… Can you tell me about them?

 

NORMAN

[A pause. NORMAN curls in on himself.]

[IT STARTED THREE WEEKS AGO, I CLOSED MY EYES,](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/6-vision-or-nightmare-or-dream?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

I WENT TO SLEEP AND FOUND A FOREST IN MY MIND

THERE’S SOMETHING THERE WITH ME, THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE,

THERE’S SOMETHING BEYOND THE RAGGED TRUNKS THAT I CAN’T FIND,

AND SOMETIMES IT CALLS TO ME, IN A VOICE I DON’T KNOW,

IT TELLS ME TO RUN, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER IF I GO,

 

DIPPER

A voice?

 

NORMAN

A VOICE THAT’S INSIDE ME, AND ALL AROUND,

IT’S SOMEHOW AN EERY, UNIVERSAL EVIL SOUND,

I’M RUNNING AWAY,

THERE’S NOTHING TO SEE,

THERE’S NO ONE AROUND,

AND IT TERRIFIES ME. 

[NORMAN turns away, unsure of how DIPPER will react. DIPPER puts a gentle hand on his arm.]

DIPPER

HEY… LOOK AT ME,

BE IT VISION OR NIGHTMARE OR DREAM,

NOTHING’S GONNA HAPPEN.

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU.

I WON’T LET IT- _WE_ WON’T LET IT HURT YOU,

YOU AND ME- AND HER MAKES THREE,

THERE’S NOTHING WE CAN’T DO,

AND NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU, 

 

 

NORMAN

THE VOICE IS INSIDE ME, 

AND ALL AROUND,

IT’S SOMEHOW AN EERY, UNIVERSAL EVIL SOUND,

I’M RUNNING AWAY,

THERE’S NOTHING TO SEE,

THERE’S NO ONE AROUND,

AND IT TERRIFIES ME. 

| 

DIPPER

HEY… 

LOOK AT ME,

BE IT VISION OR NIGHTMARE OR DREAM,

NOTHING’S GONNA HAPPEN.

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU.

I WON’T LET IT- _WE_ WON’T LET IT HURT YOU,  
  
---|---  
  
 

DIPPER

NOTHING’S GONNA HAPPEN,

NOTHING’S GONNA HAPPEN,

NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU… 

 

DIPPER [Cont.]

[DIPPER leads NORMAN to lay back, lying down next to him, still holding one of his hands.]

Go back to sleep, okay? Don’t worry. I won’t let some stupid nightmare get you again. 

 

NORMAN

[Smiling slightly.] Whatever, Dip.

[NORMAN drifts off and DIPPER glances at their still-clasped hands.]

 

DIPPER

[In a whisper.] Norman…? [No response.] If anything happens to you… I’ll never forgive myself.

[Lights fade on the attic and Dipper falls asleep watching NORMAN breathe. Across the stage Pacifica is seen in her bedroom, shopping bags littered around her floor and bed. She’s texting MABEL, but her vibrating phone fails to wake her up at first.]

 

PAZ

Come on, Mabel, I need you. This is _so_ not fair! 

[Her MOTHER and FATHER enter.]

Don’t you people ever knock?!

 

FATHER

Knocking is for the lower classes. 

 

MOTHER

I was just telling your father about those cute Moschino and Prada dresses we bought today. Which one are you wearing tomorrow? I want to approve of it. 

PAZ

Why would I wear one tomorrow?

 

FATHER

Did you forget? Your little friend Traci is having a party. 

 

PAZ

 _Staci_. And I’m not going to her stupid party. Why should I? She’s been a total brat lately. 

[Her parents share a look and she sees they’re not convinced. She presses on, not believing a word she is saying.]

B-besides! Last week she wore open-toed heels with tights! Tights from last winter’s collection! You seriously aren’t going to let me be seen with someone who dresses like that! And I heard from Tiffany, who heard from Pamela, who heard from Heather, who heard from Paisley, who heard from Dakota that Staci totally made out with some waiter from Bend. I mean, a freaking waiter! From Bend! And Staci’s family doesn’t 

PAZ [Cont.]

even have a yacht! Like, I don’t care if your dad bought you a Lamborghini, Stace, if you don’t have a yacht party every once in a while then what’s the point, right? Am I right?

 

FATHER

That’s _enough_ , Pacifica! [She shuts her mouth.] It may not be a yacht party. Indeed, it may not be half as good as one of _our_ parties-

 

MOTHER

How could it?

 

FATHER

But making appearances is important. We have a responsibility to the public. 

 

PAZ

…I already have plans, I guess. 

 

FATHER

Plans? What plans could you possibly have? All the friends we’ve procured for you will be at the party. 

 

MOTHER

And don’t say “I guess,” Pacifica, it makes you sound like you don’t think you know everything. 

 

PAZ

I. Guess. 

 

MOTHER

[Sighs.] I am going to bed. I need my beauty sleep. Preston, you deal with _this_. [She exits.]

 

FATHER

Don’t look at the floor, Pacifica. A Northwest always stares their opponent in the eye.

 

PAZ

You’re not my opponent. You’re my father.

 

FATHER

That’s right. I am your father. And you are going to listen to me. You are going to Staci’s party tomorrow. End of discussion.

[He exits. PAZ screams into her pillow and picks up her phone again.]

 

 

PAZ

Please answer me.

[MABEL finally wakes up to the sound of her phone vibrating, the boys stay fast asleep, fingers still entwined. She picks up her phone and replies.]

 

MABEL

Paz? It’s like midnight, is everything okay? 

 

PAZ

No. I need to see you tomorrow. 

 

MABEL

Okay. 

[PAZ sighs with relief and flops back down on her bed.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 14. The kitchen of the shack. The mystery trio and Grunkle Stan sit around the table eating breakfast. Mabel is doodling on her fingers between bites.]

 

DIPPER

Vampires have been feared and respected for centuries! _Twilight_ doesn’t count! 

 

NORMAN

So? Werewolves are still bigger, faster, stronger, and immune to Italian food.

 

DIPPER

They are so not faster! Grunkle Stan-

 

STAN

Not getting involved. This is stupid and weird. 

 

MABEL

Ha! You just got _Grunkled_!

STAN

Never say that again.

 

DIPPER & MABEL

[They share a look.] Grunkled! Grunkled! Grunkled!

 

STAN

Alright. This is officially too weird for me.

[He exits, they laugh.]

 

NORMAN

You know he would have agreed with me anyway.

 

DIPPER

You’re probably right. He’s always liked Mabel more than me.

 

MABEL

That’s not true. [She inspects her fingertips.] 

 

DIPPER

What exactly are you doing?

 

MABEL

Drawing little faces. When Pacifica gets here I’m gonna draw her some, too, so when we hold hands it’ll be like all the little people are hugging!

 

DIPPER

Pacifica’s not coming over today.

 

MABEL

Uh, yeah she is! We were texting about it last night.

 

DIPPER

Mabel! You’re supposed to help me with the code today!

 

NORMAN

I’ll still be helping.

 

MABEL

Yeah, Norman’s still helping. But Paz needs me.

 

DIPPER

She “needs” you.

 

MABEL

Yes, Dipper, My girlfriend needs me. I don’t know why, but I’m going to help her with whatever it is. Thats just how these things work. If Norman said he needed you, you would do that same thing, and you know it!

 

DIPPER

That’s not- That’s not the same at all! Norman would only say that if he had _real_ problems!

 

MABEL

Just because you don’t like Pacifica doesn’t mean her problems aren’t real. You don’t have to be such a _jerk_!

 

DIPPER

Come on, Norman.

[DIPPER takes NORMAN by the arm and pulls him towards the stairs, MABEL begins angrily clearing the table. PAZ enters in an expensive-looking minidress.]

 

MABEL

That’s a really nice dress.

[DIPPER storms into the attic and flops down on his bed. NORMAN follows him tentatively and sits across from him on Mabel’s bed.]

 

PAZ

My parents think I’m going to my friend Staci’s party.

 

 

MABEL

So you aren’t going?

[PAZ crosses her arms silently.] 

 

NORMAN

Dipper… please quit pouting, it’s kinda weirding me out.

 

DIPPER

I’m not pouting. I’m sulking. There’s a difference. 

 

MABEL

Are you mad at Staci?

 

DIPPER

I mean can you believe that?! 

 

PAZ

I guess? I don’t know.

 

DIPPER

She swore she was gonna help out with this, and suddenly she ditches because Pacifica freaking Northwest is throwing a tantrum or something!

 

PAZ

I don’t really wanna talk about it. [MABEL takes her hand.] What’s on your fingers?

NORMAN

Dipper, don’t be mad at me, but don’t you think you’re being a bit judgemental? 

MABEL

Faces!

 

NORMAN

Mabel has a big heart…

 

MABEL

I was gonna draw some on your hand too so that we could make our little finger people hug.

 

NORMAN

And she really cares about Pacifica. 

 

PAZ

I would never let you do that.

 

 

 

NORMAN

So if Pacifica tells her she’s upset, of course Mabel is gonna help. That’s just who she is. She’d do the same for you, too. 

 

MABEL

Paz, if you want to go to that party, I don’t mind.

 

PAZ

Would you drop it? I don’t want to talk about it.

 

NORMAN

Besides, we don’t know the situation. Maybe Pacifica does have a real problem. 

 

PAZ

It’s what _they_ would want. So even If I did want to go, I wouldn’t.

 

NORMAN

Maybe her grandma died or something. 

 

MABEL

Paz, why didn’t you just say you got in a fight with your parents?

 

NORMAN

I don’t know.

 

PAZ

Because I already said I don’t want to talk about it!

 

MABEL

It’s not healthy to keep it all bottled up. I know you’re upset, but I wanna help. 

 

NORMAN

Maybe there’s stuff going on in her life that we couldn’t really understand.

 

MABEL

They’re your family, Pacifica. They’re going to love you no matter what.

 

PAZ

No they’re not! I hate them!

 

MABEL

You don’t hate them.

 

PAZ

Yes I do, don’t tell me how to feel!

 

MABEL

I’m not telling you how to feel, I’m trying to help you! I’m trying to understand-

 

PAZ

How could you possibly understand?! Your family is nothing like mine! 

 

MABEL

Family is family, Pacifica!

 

PAZ

You don’t get it! Nobody gets it! I shouldn’t have // come over.

 

MABEL

I’m trying to get it! Paz, I’m not a mind reader, but I’m trying-

 

PAZ

Maybe I should just leave!

 

DIPPER

[He comes to sit next to NORMAN.] You know… 

 

MABEL

If that’s how you feel maybe you should.

 

DIPPER

You make me feel like a real jerk.

 

PAZ

F-fine!

 

NORMAN

It’s fine. 

 

PAZ

I will!

 

MABEL

Fine. Go.

 

NORMAN

As long as you know how to admit your mistakes, alright? 

 

PAZ

Fine!

[PAZ storms out.]

 

NORMAN

Now are we gonna crack this code or not?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 15. The forest. In her anger, PAZ has ventured pretty far into it and is now disoriented. She looks around, but sees nothing but trees. She checks her phone.]

 

PAZ

No service. Of course.

[She gets a bit antsy, looking around a few moments more. BILL appears, having been watching her since she entered his part of the forest.]

 

BILL

Well, well, well. You aren’t you I was expecting - but you’ll do just fine. 

[PAZ screams. She stares at BILL.]

Oh, you’re not crazy, don’t worry about that.

 

PAZ

H-how did you know what I was thinking?

 

BILL

Oh, I know lots of things, Doll. For example, I know you just got in a fight with your girlfriend.

 

PAZ

Were you spying on us? Who the hell do you think you are?!

 

BILL

The name’s Bill Cipher! And I have eyes everywhere. But if you want to talk, I’m all ears.

 

PAZ

I don’t wanna talk. Not to you. Not to anybody.

 

BILL

Oh, missing your girlfriend, are you? She’s not missing you, that’s for sure. 

 

PAZ

Y-you don’t know that.

 

BILL

Sure I do! Eyes everywhere, remember? If you want, I can tell you exactly what she’s doing right now.

[PAZ hesitates but nods.]

…Crying.

[A pause. PAZ bites her lip.]

Feeling guilty?

 

PAZ

Northwests don’t feel guilty.

 

BILL

How long do you think Shooting Star will put up with this? How long until she sees you for what you really are? How long until she leaves you?

 

PAZ

[Unsure.] Mabel will forgive me… She always does… 

 

BILL

I could talk to her if you like. She and I go _way_ back.

 

PAZ

I don’t take charity.

 

BILL

Charity? Think of it more as an economic exchange. I do this for you, and you do something for me.

 

PAZ

…What would I have to do?

 

BILL

Just get me a doll. Simple, isn’t it? 

 

PAZ

…A doll?

 

BILL

Yeah! You could say I collect ‘em! Or, you know, you could ignore me, try to fix it yourself, and screw up like you have everything else.Your choice!

 

PAZ

Just a doll?

 

BILL

Do we have a deal?

[He holds out his hand. PAZ hesitates but shakes it.]

 

PAZ

What kind of Doll did you want, then? Are we talking Barbie or, like, porcelain...?

 

BILL

I was thinking something a little larger. More… lifelike. Pretty, blonde, rich… You know what, _you’ll_ do nicely!

 

PAZ

Wha-?!

[Blackout. BILL laughs.]

 

 

 

 

[Scene 16. MABEL is in the living room on the couch. She hasn’t been crying. BILLCIFICA (hereafter BAZ) enters, still getting used to her(?) new limbs.]

 

MABEL

Paz! You didn’t leave?

 

BAZ

I thought about what you said, babe. I do want to talk. I _should_ talk. 

 

MABEL

Uh, sure! Come sit by me.

 

BAZ

Not here. Let’s go for a walk, I want you to show me your favorite part of the forest. 

 

MABEL

Uh…

 

BAZ

Please?

 

MABEL

Dipper! Norman! Pacifica and I are going out!

[BAZ and MABEL exit. A short time later, DIPPER and NORMAN go downstairs.]

 

DIPPER

[Flipping through a few of the books on the coffee table as NORMAN moves to the window.] I think I saw something like that in one of the books on the Adamic lan//guage. 

[Lighting change, now we see what NORMAN sees. Lights up on the real PAZ - her spirit - across the stage, trying desperately to move but stuck in one spot. NORMAN screams. DIPPER rushes to his side and takes his shoulders.]

Woah, woah! Norman! What is is?! What’s wrong?! Norman! Talk to me, what’s going on?!

 

NORMAN

[He pulls away and bolts out the door, DIPPER follows.] Pacifica!

 

DIPPER

Pacifica? What are you talking about? Pacifica is with Mabel!

 

 

NORMAN

No, she’s not! She’s here! She’s right there! She’s-

 

DIPPER

No. Where- Where’s Mabel?! Is Mabel okay? Ask her where Mabel is!

 

PAZ

[Gaping.] You can see me?

 

NORMAN

Uh, I can… see ghosts, yeah.

 

PAZ

Ghosts? I’m not dead!

 

NORMAN

Y-you’re not?

 

PAZ

No! That _thing_ stole my body! I can’t move!

 

NORMAN

[Looks at the ground below her.] Magic circle. That’s juvenile. [He kicks at the lines until they disappear.] Better? [She moves out of the broken circle, surprised.] She’s not dead, Dipper, just body-napped.

 

DIPPER

By what?!

 

NORMAN

Pacifica, I know this might be difficult, but I’m going to need you to try and tell me who did this to you.

 

PAZ

I don’t know! Some triangle, one-eyed, freaky guy!

 

NORMAN

One eye?

[DIPPER goes completely white and starts to run off.]

Dipper, what’s going on?

 

DIPPER

We gotta find Mabel. Gotta save Mabel. Can’t let anything happen to her! 

| 

PAZ

Norman, what’s happening?! Are you helping me or not? Hell-ooo are you even listening?  
  
---|---  
  
 

NORMAN

Whoa, okay, one at a time!

 

DIPPER

We- We can’t let Bill get to her!

 

NORMAN

Bill?

 

PAZ

Bill Cipher! That was his // name!

 

NORMAN

Bill Cipher? [DIPPER looks even more concerned, his fears confirmed.] Dipper, what’s going on? Who is-?

 

DIPPER

No time to explain! If he’s possessed Pacifica, then Mabel is in danger. We have to find her! 

 

PAZ

I couldn’t hear them well at all, but she said something about flowers.

 

NORMAN

Dipper, Mabel mentioned flowers.

 

DIPPER

…I know where they are. 

[They run offstage.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 17. A clearing in the forest. BAZ and MABEL enter and sit on a rock.]

 

BAZ

This is… colorful.

 

MABEL

Isn’t it beautiful? If you sit still enough, sometimes unicorns come through here.

 

BAZ

Unicorns? You read that in your brother’s journal?

 

MABEL

Pacifica… [She stands.] I never told you about the Journal.

[BAZ turns slowly to MABEL. The flowers around them catch fire, they are surrounded by otherworldly blue flame. MABEL screams.]

Get out of Pacifica, you- you moldy dorito!

 

BAZ

Come on, Shooting Star! Is that any way to talk to an old friend?

 

MABEL

You’re not my friend! 

[DIPPER, NORMAN, and the real PAZ enter, stopping when they reach the edge of the flame.]

 

DIPPER

Mabel!

 

MABEL

Dipper! Help m-! [BAZ covers her mouth, she can’t breathe.]

 

BAZ

Pine Tree can’t help you now.

 

DIPPER

Leave her alone! [He runs through the fire, pulling NORMAN with him.] 

 

BAZ

What’s the matter, Pine Tree? Don’t like my new bod?

 

DIPPER

You let her go right now!

 

 

BAZ

Aw, but Shooting Stars are so pretty when they fall, don’t you think?

[BAZ drops MABEL, now unconscious. DIPPER tackles BAZ to the ground and NORMAN catches MABEL before she hits the floor.]

 

PAZ

Mabel!

 

NORMAN

She’s okay! She’s breathing! 

[BAZ kicks DIPPER in the side.]

Dipper, are yo-?

 

DIPPER

[Between punches.] I- I’ve got this! We’ve defeated him before, we’ll defeat him again. I just need to find her weaknesses… 

 

PAZ

Weaknesses?! Tell him I have no weaknesses! I have a personal trainer, I’m fit as hell! 

 

NORMAN

Do you want your body back or not? We’re tying to help you! We’re trying to help Mabel!

[DIPPER shoves BAZ to the ground.]

 

BAZ

Oh, Pine Tree, do you have any idea what you’ve just done? Do you have any idea what I’m like… [BAZ gets to his feet.] When I’m… [He rises into the air.] 

 

VOICE

Mad?!

[NORMAN gasps, recognising the voice from his nightmares, the others can’t hear it. BAZ notices.]

You! I’ve been looking all over for you, Little Ghost. 

 

MABEL

[Beginning to stir.] Norman? …Pacifica! 

 

BAZ

Pacifica is gone!

 

NORMAN

No, she’s not, Mabel, I can see her!

[BAZ waves his hand and NORMAN and MABEL are thrown apart.]

 

VOICE

Little Ghost, Little Ghost, tell them who scares you the most.

 

DIPPER

Mabel! Norman!

 

MABEL

Dipper! [She runs toward DIPPER to help him fight off BAZ.]

 

PAZ

Mabel! Norman, don’t let her-!

 

NORMAN

I’m sorry! [He runs toward the twins.]

 

BAZ

Give it up, Pine Tree! You’re in over your head! And can I just say that you kids have been a pain in the neck for far too long? I’m going to enjoy getting rid of you.

[He lunges for MABEL but DIPPER pushes her out of the way, getting tackled himself. BAZ wraps his fingers around his neck.]

 

MABEL

Dipper! [NORMAN tries to help her up.] He’s gonna kill Dipper!

[NORMAN sees BAZ and his eyes glow green.]

Norman, what…?

 

PAZ

Your eyes-! 

[NORMAN screams and rushes at BAZ.]

 

NORMAN

 _Don’t touch him_!

[He pulls BAZ off of DIPPER. When BAZ goes to strike him, he catches BAZ’s wrist, sparks coming off his fingertips. He realizes what he’s doing and drops the wrist, horrified. His eyes fade back to blue. BAZ laughs.]

 

BAZ

Oh, kid. You’re really something special, aren’t you? Didn’t you wonder why I was looking for you, Little Ghost? 

 

NORMAN

S-stop calling me that.

 

MABEL

And get out of Pacifica’s body!

 

BAZ

Tell you what. You’ve amused me. I’ll go ahead and give you your Doll back now. She wasn’t as useful as I thought she’d be, after all.

 

PAZ

Hey!

 

BAZ

But know this, Pine Tree. Shooting Star. Little. Ghost. The game has only just begun. I’ll be watching you.

[NORMAN grabs PAZ and shoves her back into her body. Lighting change. We only see the living. PAZ gets up and tests her limbs.]

 

PAZ

You kick hard, asshole! 

 

DIPPER

I did what I had to do. [PAZ goes to MABEL and NORMAN takes DIPPER’s arm.] Norman, you okay? You don’t look so good. 

 

NORMAN

Can we just go?

 

DIPPER

Y-yeah.

 

VOICE

I’ll be watching over you, Little Ghost.

[The four of them exit.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scene 18. The Mystery Shack living room. PAZ and MABEL are on the couch, talking in hushed voices. DIPPER and NORMAN are across from them, sitting on the floor.]

 

DIPPER

Are you sure you’re okay?

 

NORMAN

Dipper, you could have died and you’re asking if _I’m_ okay? 

 

DIPPER

I’m sorry. And… Thank you, by the way. For saving me back there.

 

NORMAN

You would have done the same for me.

 

MABEL

Dipper, come here. I wanna look at your neck. And, uh… Norman, I think Pacifica wants to talk to you.

[PAZ and NORMAN stand up, PAZ not quite meeting his eyes.]

 

NORMAN

Uh… Do you want to go into the kitchen?

[PAZ nods and he follows her into the kitchen. Soft lighting on the living room, lights up on the kitchen. PAZ and NORMAN sit at the table. There is a beat of very awkward silence. Neither knows what to say.]

 

PAZ

So… Talking to ghosts. How long have you been doing that?

 

NORMAN

I, uh, don’t know, really. My whole life?

 

PAZ

Mm. Thanks for, like, saving me, or whatever. Guess it was pretty dumb of me to let that _thing_ in. 

 

NORMAN

…I don’t think you’re dumb. You were upset and he took advantage of that. It wasn’t your fault.

 

PAZ

Did Mabel mention why I was so upset? 

[Music starts.]

 

 

NORMAN

Your parents. You know… 

[WHEN I WAS YOUNGER MY DAD WOULD YELL](https://soundcloud.com/sarah-kaufman/10-family?in=sarah-kaufman/sets/tangled-up-in-mysteries)

I THINK HIS GREATEST WISH IN LIFE WAS FOR ME TO BE SOMEONE ELSE

I WOULD HIDE IN MY ROOM OR IN A BATHROOM STALL

AND I WOULD TRY THROUGH THE HURT TO FORGET IT ALL

AND IT WAS LONELY

CUZ’ THEY WERE AFRAID OF ME

[He begins to lose himself in the story, letting PAZ see a less inhibited side of him, one most people don’t see.]

AND THEN ONE SUMMER WE PACKED UP OUR BAGS AND LEFT FOR OREGON

AND I WAS WALKING IN THE WOODS ONE DAY 

WHEN A GOLF CART ZOOMED BY AND TWO KIDS SAID GET ON.

[He connects directly to PAZ.]

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY.

IT’S NOT YOUR NAME, IT’S NOT YOUR EYES,

IT’S NOT SOME GOD-GIVEN RANDOM SURPRISE,

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY.

[PAZ hesitates.]

PAZ

WHEN I WAS LIKE SIX, I USED TO DO THESE STUPID BEAUTY PAGENTS,

AND I SAID TO MY MOM, WITH GALLONS OF MAKE-UP ON, 

“DO YOU LOVE ME?” 

AND SHE SAID “SHUT UP, AND TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.”

SO THEN I WON, OF COURSE I DID AND SHE SAID

“I LOVE MY LITTLE WINNER.”

AND IT’S NOT LIKE I NEED THEM,

OR LIKE THEY HAD AN EFFECT,

IT’S JUST I REALIZED AT SIX FUCKING YEARS OLD THAT I WAS WORTHLESS IF I WASN’T PERFECT… 

 

[Under vamp:]

NORMAN

…That’s a horrible thing to learn at six.

 

PAZ

 Nobody ever told me they loved me until Mabel.

 

NORMAN

Have you told Mabel-?

 

PAZ

I’ve never told anyone! [She starts to cry and NORMAN puts an arm around her.] But why do you care? I’ve been nothing but a bitch to you!

 

 

NORMAN

Because… I know what it’s like to need someone to care about you like that. [He offers her a napkin from the table and she wipes her face.]

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY.

 

PAZ & NORMAN

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY. 

 

NORMAN

IT’S NOT YOUR DNA, YOUR HAPPY PLACE,

 

PAZ & NORMAN

IT ISN’T HOW YOU FILL YOUR TROPHY CASE

 

NORMAN

IT’S NOT THE BLOOD RUNNING THROUGH YOUR VEINS,

YOUR SCARY HAIR OR FAMILY NAME,

 

PAZ

IT’S NOT A YACHT PARTY, 4.0, OR A NEW SATELLITE RADIO

 

NORMAN

IT’S NOT YOUR HANDS OF YOUR FINGERPRINTS,

WHERE YOU WERE BORN, WHO YOU WERE WITH,

 

PAZ

IT’S NOT A TICKET TO THE OPERA HOUSE, OR A COPYRIGHT ON MICKEY MOUSE,

NOT A MOTHER

 

NORMAN

FATHER

 

PAZ & NORMAN

YOU DON’T MENTION

BAD IDEAS WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY.

[PAZ heads for the living room and NORMAN follows, lights back up on DIPPER and MABEL.]

[Under vamp:]

 

PAZ

I want in.

 

DIPPER

What?

 

PAZ

This little mystery-solving thing you have going on? Don’t lie to me, Dipper Pines, I know you have one. And I want in. I want revenge.

 

DIPPER

No offence, Pacifica, but I don’t trust you. At all.

 

PAZ

I know that. You’ve made it more than obvious.

 

NORMAN

I think we should let her join.

 

DIPPER

What?!

 

NORMAN

Why not? She already knows something is going on. And you’re always griping about Mabel having to divide her time, but if Pacifica was with us, she wouldn’t have to.

 

DIPPER

But-

 

MABEL

Let’s vote! All in favor of the mystery trio becoming the Mystery Quartet? [She, PAZ, and NORMAN raise their hands.]

 

DIPPER

[Huffs.] Fine. Whatever. Mystery Quartet. But! You’re on probation!

[DIPPER starts up the stairs. MABEL follows, smiling.]

 

PAZ

What does that even mean?

 

MABEL

[Calling down from half-way up the stairs.] That’s Dipper-speak for “welcome to the team!”

[PAZ turns to NORMAN. Smiles.]

 

PAZ

IT’S NOT A BIRTHRIGHT.

 

NORMAN

IT’S NOT A PLAN.

 

PAZ & NORMAN

IT’S NOT A FAILURE IF THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY. 

[Riffed:] YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY, YOU CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY. 

 

NORMAN

AND YOU CAN CHOOSE ME.

 

PAZ

AND YOU CAN CHOOSE ME.

 

NORMAN

YOU CAN CHOOSE ME.

 

PAZ

It’s Norman Babcock, right?

 

NORMAN

Yeah.

 

PAZ

…Thanks, Norman.

[Blackout.]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**End of Act 1.**

 


End file.
